Better Late Pt. II

After the eventful appointment, Ellie couldn’t sleep a wink. As annoyed as she was with everyone bullying her into the check-up, she had to admit that she’d been holding in a lot of anxiety and loneliness. She had been burying herself in books and junk food semester after semester, and hadn’t even thought of going on a date. Candice’s exam may have been unpleasant, but it felt good to have some toppy attention. Ellie’s long term dominant girlfriend and broken up with her when she moved to the States for psychology school. They had been struggling with communication anyway, and the distance was just going to be too much. Ellie understood, but the breakup was extremely painful nonetheless. She was hungry for attention… any type of attention. Ok, maybe not a speculum in her you-know-what, but there was something about Candice’s concern and control that made Ellie feel jello-y on the insides. Around 2:00 in the morning, Candice took a double shot of Nyquil to lull herself to sleep. She woke up the next morning to her 7:30 alarm still groggy, but oddly light and happy, as well.

Hastily throwing her tangled hair into a bun, Ellie prepared two toaster strudels (Pillsbury was the best part of living in America!) and grabbed Candice’s business card from her purse. Her heart thumping, she separated her phone from it’s charger and unlocked it with shaking hands. Surely it was too early to text Candice? She’d look desperate at this point. It hadn’t even been 24 hours. Plus, normal people sleep in on Saturdays. Ellie’s impatience got the best of her- she wouldn’t be able to focus until she reached out.

Ellie: Good morning. Thank you for the appointment yesterday. I am writing to let you know that I’m still interested in

She paused. She texted with her ex-girlfriend about spanking all the time, but suddenly she felt embarrassed and awkward. Biting her lip, she deleted her text and rephrased it.

Ellie: Hi! Hope I’m not waking you up. I just wanted to let you know that I appreciated the appointment yesterday and I still want what I said I wanted yesterday. 

Hmm… maybe too vague? Third time’s the charm.

Ellie: Good morning! Hope I’m not waking you up 🙂 I really appreciated all of your support yesterday. I’m sorry I wasn’t very kind to you or your staff. I’d like to get together this weekend and “discuss” things the way you mentioned yesterday. 

There. That was perfect. Ellie hit send and took a deep breath. She slathered icing on her second toaster strudel, but before she had even taken a bite, she saw the telltale “typing” dots on the screen of her iPhone. SHIT. The doctor was responding already. Ellie held her breath in anticipation.

Candice: Good morning, Ellie. Thanks for your kind message. How about 2:00 this afternoon? Please send me your address. 

Ellie felt a rush of dizziness wash over her, but it was the good kind of dizzy- the kind that lets you know that you’re excited about something. Ellie still had 6 hours until the visit, so she decided to spend some of her time tidying the apartment. The pile of dishes was put away, the carpets were vacuumed, and the bathroom was scrubbed from top to bottom. After all of that, it was barely noon. Ugh. Ellie flopped down on her couch and stared at the ceiling. She was too nervous/excited to study, and she didn’t need to do any more cleaning. Suddenly, she knew what she wanted to do.

Picking up her phone, Ellie opened WhatsApp and sent her ex-girlfriend Gia a message.

Ellie: Can u talk? Everything’s ok.. mostly.. I just want to talk about something

Gia: I’m calling now.

Ellie smiled to herself. Gia was fiercely loyal and endlessly kind. Their friendship had survived the breakup, and for that Ellie was certainly grateful.

“Heyyyyyyy,” Ellie squealed when she answered Gia’s call, “It’s so good to hear your voice.”

“I know,” Gia sighed, “It’s been forever. What’s up, babe?”

“I’m having a girl over today.” There was an awkward pause as she realized that it was a weird thing to lead with. Would Gia be jealous after all this time? Turns out, her fear was unfounded.

“OH MY GOD PLEASE TELL ME A GIRL GIRL. LIKE A DATE,” Gia practically screamed, “You’ve been a straight up hermit, dude, I thought you were never going to get back out there. I was feeling terrible.”

“It’s not a date. Well, not a romantic date. She’s my doctor. My gynae, actually. But she’s spanking me. It’s complicated. I went in for a routine check-up and one bratty comment lead to another and the next thing you know she threatened to spank me. Obviously I almost died. I mean… how weird. So I basically just said sure. She looked sort of shocked, like she didn’t think I’d even react. So she’s coming over today to… you know. And she’s pretty, but I don’t know anything about her. We hardly talked about anything other than my boobs and my vagina, which is actually a great start to normal lesbian dates but a pretty un-promising start on a date with a gynae.” The story came out in one big rush, and after finishing, Ellie listened impatiently for Gia’s advice.

“Wow. Just… wow,” Gia finally said with a whistle, “That is totally wild. She has to be a little into you if she’s coming over to beat your butt. And I mean, it’s a cute butt, so she’ll have to be into you by the end of the day,” Gia teased.

“I don’t know,” Ellie whined, “Maybe she sees me as a daughter or something. She’s like, 15 years older than me at least.”

“Just be yourself, El. You’re a good one. I miss you lots. Let’s Facetime later tonight, ok?”

“Ok,” Ellie grumbled, “I’m going to take a hot bath and maybe take a shot of whiskey to calm myself.”

“Ellie,” said Gia in a low, threatening voice, “We don’t solve anxiety with alcohol, and you should NOT be drinking before a stranger spanks you. Please tell me you won’t.”

“Fine, fine,” Ellie snapped, “Everyone is in their toppy groove lately. Bossy here, bossy there.”

“Be good and it won’t be a problem,” Gia laughed, “Update me soon, babes.”

“Will do. Bye!” Ellie chirped, hanging up the phone with a smile on her face. Even a quick chat with Gia could calm her nerves. By the time Ellie finished her promised bath and drank a cup of hot tea (instead of whiskey), it was 1:45 and the final countdown was on. Ellie sat on the couch and looked between her phone and the door. Finally, she heard the apartment buzzer cry out at 1:58.

Racing to the door, she pulled it open and smiled shyly as Candice ascended the stairs.

“Hi!” Ellie offered with a soft smile. “Thanks for coming, doc.”

Candice smiled back as she stepped into the apartment.

“Nice to see you’re in a better mood,” she commented teasingly, giving Ellie’s shoulder an affectionate squeeze.

“Ah… yeah,” Ellie giggled shyly, “I find it’s best to be, you know, polite when someone is going to…” Ellie trailed off nervously but Candice offered her a reassuring smile.

“You’ll be just fine,” Candice promised kindly, “Let’s have a seat and chat.”

Ellie lead the way to the couch and sat down gingerly, staring up expectantly at her dominant counterpart. She knew this might be a one-time thing, but letting someone else call the shots was already having a subduing effect on her. She was slipping into the subby role that she occupied with Gia, at least when she wasn’t on a bratting rampage.

Candice settled in next to her and fixed her with a serious expression.

“My discipline spankings hurt,” Candice said solemnly, “But I trust you know that if you have experience with spanking. I spank hard and for as long as I think is necessary. Once I get you in position, you don’t have any more choices. You can use a safe word, or you can cooperate fully with the discipline. There will be no middle ground. I’m not going to injure you, but you’re going to be very sore. You deserve that, though, don’t you?”

Ellie gulped nervously. The intensity had escalated quickly. Candice meant business.

“Ah, y-yes, ma’am, I understand,” Ellie choked out in a horse whisper.

“Undress,” Candice commanded simply. “Just from the waist down is fine.”

Ellie complied quickly, and then stood awkwardly in front of Candice, waiting for further instruction. Candice angled herself toward Ellie and opened her legs.

“Kneel right here,” she commanded, pointing to a spot on the carpet between her legs. Ellie followed the instruction and looked up at Candice submissively, feeling increasingly small and nervous about going through with this.

“Good girl,” Candice praised, lifting her hand and running it through Ellie’s freshly-combed hair. “Why don’t you start with telling me a little more about yourself. What’s up with you neglecting your doctor’s appointments? You seemed like you were upset about more than the speculum yesterday.”

Ellie melted into Candice’s touch. She closed her eyes and let herself enjoy the feeling of Candice playing with her hair. Taking a deep breath, she began to explain about everything- the move to America to grow up a bit, the psychology program where she made great friends and enjoyed her classes but deeply missed her parents and her country, the breakup, the way that having to manage all of her own appointments and decisions was crushing her… everything. When she finished, she kept her eyes down on the carpet and leaned her head into Candice’s leg.

“And yesterday a lot of it just got taken out on you,” Ellie finished explaining, “And I’m sorry. But when you threatened to spank me…” her voice became high pitched with embarrassment and emotion, “I guess I just felt relieved. Like finally someone was offering to take care of me, even though you were actually just threatening me with a sore butt.”

Candice leaned over and rubbed Ellie’s back, giving herself time to process Ellie’s story.

“Thank you for sharing all of that,” Candice finally said, “Can you sit up and look at me, please? That’s it. Good girl. I understand. I’m fairly experienced with dishing out discipline, and most people feel the way that you do- the experience is painful, but it makes people feel secure and protected. It wipes the slate clean so that you can tackle your shortcomings and try again. We are definitely on the same page there. So, I think it’s time for me to show this naughty bottom what happens when you hold in your feelings for THREE YEARS and neglect your own health. Get up and lay over my lap.”

Ellie stood up on weak legs and carefully lowered herself over Candice’s strong thighs. Candice easily adjusted Ellie’s thin frame while raising her left knee so that Ellie’s bottom was adequately elevated. She rubbed Ellie’s bottom for just a moment, and then suddenly the hand was gone and back with a vengeance.

“Ooooof,” Ellie hissed, “I wasn’t ready for that.”

“You don’t have to be ready. You just have to be still.” With that final warning, the spanks started in earnest. Apparently Candice doesn’t believe in warm ups. She got each of Ellie’s sit spots a solid 10-15 times each, over and over on the same increasingly searing spot. When Ellie was howling in pain, Candice branched out and started to pepper the rest of her shaking bottom with swats. She alternated between right and left cheeks, and occasionally smacking the upper thighs. Ellie’s gasps and moans could hardly keep up with the pace of the punishment.

“Aghhh, I forgot how terribly this hurts,” Ellie gasped out, her eyes already stinging with tears, “You’re hitting too hard.”

“I am most certainly not hitting too hard if you’re feeling so chatty,” Candice replied dryly, picking up the pace and returning to the excruciatingly sore sit spots. Ellie thrashed and groaned in pain in response. Without skipping a beat, Candice moved so that her right leg was on top of both of Ellie’s flailing legs, and she pressed her left forearm firmly into Ellie’s upper back. Ellie was completely trapped. She tried to wiggle her hands free to get some leverage, but Candice was having none of that. She twisted both of Ellie’s arms painfully behind her back and pinned them down against her torso.

“I know all sorts of very uncomfortable positions and pressure points,” Candice threatened ominously. “You don’t want to irritate a doctor who has control of your body. Trust me on this one.”

With that, Candice returned to spanking Ellie’s bottom mercilessly. Unable to move an inch, Ellie just relaxed and let herself sob. It hurt so badly, but she couldn’t go anywhere. Eventually, the sobs of pain morphed into sobs of relief. It felt so good to have nothing to control for once. She felt oddly protected despite the fire burning on her backside. Sensing her resistance die down, Candice slowed down her spanking so that she was only smacking Ellie’s bottom every 3 seconds or so. Each spank still landed with purpose and sent ripples of pain through the thoroughly punished rump. Shaking and crying, Ellie prayed that the spanking would end soon. Her bottom was way out of shape! Finally, Candice’s hand stopped coming down, and she placed it gingerly on Ellie’s lower back.

“Shh, shh,” Candice soothed calmly, “I know. I know that was a hard spanking. I warned you, but brats never truly understand until their bottom is on fire. You’re okay. We’re almost done. I want you to tell me what you’re going to do differently from now on, and if I like your answer, we’re done with the punishment.”

“I’m going to start taking care of myself,” Ellie gasped between sobs. “I’m going to start making regular appointments with my health care providers, and I’m going to start talking to my friends about my feelings more. I’m going to get out and be social even if I want to stay home and watch TV. And if I feel frustrated, I can go on a jog or journal or communicate how I’m feeling instead of treating people like crap… I think that’s all…”

“Very good. Very good girl,” Candice cooed, rubbing Ellie’s back gently. “Let’s sit up and calm down,” she suggested, helping Ellie sit up and get comfortable on the couch.

“Sssssssss,” Ellie hissed as her bottom touched the soft couch cushions, “It HURTS,” she frowned, trying to wiggle into a more comfortable side-sitting position.

Candice wiped Ellie’s tear-soaked hair off of her face and smiled sympathetically.

“I know,” Candice conceded. “I might rub some lotion on it before I leave if I’m feeling nice,” she promised with a wink.

“Do you spank all of your patients?” Ellie asked with a pout.

“None so far. I only spank people that I really like,” Candice responded with a smirk. “I don’t usually mix business and pleasure. You were a special case.”

“Pleasure?!” Ellie exclaimed, “You tried to kill me! This was torture, not pleasure.”

“Oh?” Candice asked with a sultry smile, “Well maybe we can still get to the pleasure part.” She put her hand behind Ellie’s neck and leaned in ever-so-slightly as if to go in for a kiss. She stopped halfway though and looked at Ellie seriously with her gorgeous brown eyes.

“You can say no,” Candice said seriously, “I know it’s been a strange two days for you.”

“YES,” Ellie said flatly, practically launching her face toward Candice’s and pressing her mouth against Candice’s surprised lips. The two women kissed passionately, and Ellie’s body weight pushed Candice onto her back. Laying down, the two women made out passionately while Candice gently pulled Ellie’s hair. Coming up for air, Candice separated from Ellie and fixed her with another serious stare.

“You know I can’t be your doctor after this, right?” Candice asked tentatively.

“Mmm,” said Ellie with a mischievous smirk, “I guess that’s fine, but you know, I am a litttttle worried about how my you-know-what is doing after yesterday’s experience. You ARE a doctor and, you know, you’re like right here, sooo maybe you could check it out?” Ellie grinned as she guided Candice’s hand between her legs.

“You are BAD!” Candice exclaimed with a hearty laugh. “But let’s see how you’re doing.” With that, Candice slipped two fingers into Ellie’s moist center, biting Ellie’s lip as she felt around. Ellie let out a low groan.

“Oh my goooood,” Ellie moaned, “Unfff… you know your way around in there. It’s not fair,” she gasped as Candice easily found all of Ellie’s most sensitive spots. Ellie could feel herself getting more and more wet, and her groans got louder and more desperate. She could barely form a thought as she writhed against Candice in pleasure. She let herself be taken right up to the edge, groaning with abandon and giving in to all of Candice’s expert movements. In no time at all, she was screaming and gasping as she climaxed against Candice’s hand. Candice immediately began to caress Ellie’s hot backside as she whimpered in bliss.

“Oh my god,” was all that Ellie could repeat, burying her head in Candice’s curly hair and trying to catch her breath. “I can’t compete with that,” Ellie said finally. Candice laughed in response.

“Maybe I’ll make another house call next week and you can try. For now, I’d like to see you take a nap. You look exhausted.”

Ellie pouted and tried to reach her hand between Candice’s legs to persuade her otherwise. Candice caught her hand firmly and pressed it behind Ellie’s back. With a one quick pinch to her bottom, Ellie was gasping in pain again.

“You need to be a good listener,” Candice whispered softly into Ellie’s ear. “Or you’re going to be getting more pain and less pleasure from now on. Understand?”

“Yes, ma’m. Understood,” Ellie responded earnestly, looking up at Candice innocently. She was completely under Candice’s spell and it felt amazing. With one swift motion, Candice lifted Ellie off the couch and carried her around the corner to her room. She set her carefully on the bed and pulled the covers up over her.

“Text me when you wake up,” Candice whispered with a gentle kiss to Ellie’s head, “I want to know that you’re ok.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Ellie responded with a smile and a yawn. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll see you soon, darling girl,” Candice promised. And with that, she quietly retreated out of the house, her heart glowing with excitement. Candice hadn’t been this excited about another woman in a long time. She couldn’t wait to see what her sweet, naughty Ellie would get up to next.

 

 

Better Late Than… Oh Wait

Hi guysssss. The Melissa stories aren’t wanting to be written lately. They’re a bit of a struggle. But I really like the whole doctor-dom dynamic, so here’s a new doctor-patient lesbian spanko story for ya’ll. 

***

Ever since moving to the United States from the U.K., Ellie didn’t favor having to make trips to the doctor or dentist. The NHS healthcare system was so easy and familiar, and having to pick private doctors that work with your insurance plan was a big hassle. Ellie had tried to navigate the insurance company websites when she first arrived in the Windy City (aka Chicago), but it gave her a huge headache.  When a two-week bout of bronchitis brought her into an urgent care clinic, Ellie admitted to the intake nurse that she hadn’t seen any sort of doctor in almost 3 full years. Horrified, the nurse insisted that Ellie get a full check up then and there, and she wrote her a referral to a local gynecologist.

“You have to get a well-woman exam,” the nurse scolded, “You’re 25 years old- women’s health checkups are essential for preventing ovarian, cervical, and breast cancers. And you need to get to a dentist yesterday.”

Referral crumpled in her now-sweaty hands, Ellie scuttled out of the office feeling annoyed. She felt completely fine, other than the bronchitis. Maybe she wouldn’t even pick up her prescriptions. Ice cream and hot tea had never let her down…

Nevertheless, after hearing about her health situation on the phone that night, Ellie’s mother doubled down and insisted she’d stop paying her phone bill if she didn’t get to a doctor ASAP. Feeling trapped, Ellie made an appointment online with the gynecologist and sent her mom a screenshot of the appointment confirmation email.

“Hope everyone is happy,” Ellie thought bitterly as she went to bed that night, “Now I have to let some creep shove his hand up my you-know-what for no reason.”

When the time for the appointment rolled around a few weeks later, Ellie felt herself growing nervous. She took to Google to explore what even happens at a “well woman” check-up. The Google search revealed ghastly photos of the tools used for a pap smear, and Ellie may have read one too many horror stories from women who’d had bad experiences with their exams. Ellie nearly considered skipping the appointment, but then she remembered how much she didn’t want to be paying her own phone bill while also juggling rent and tuition at psychology school.

Ellie showed up at the right office and shoved her plastic insurance card at the receptionist.

“Name?” the receptionist asked without looking up from her computer.

“If you can read, my name is on the card,” Ellie huffed impatiently. She knew this appointment was a mistake. These people were idiots! She was not going to let any of them manhandle her nether regions.

With a pointed glare, the receptionist click-clacked on the keyboard with her extra long hot pink nails. After what felt like hours of typing and glaring, the receptionist shoved her card back and said, “Follow the nurse back to your room.”

Ellie was taken down a winding hallway to a clean, spacious room lined with pamphlets about STDs, cervical cancer, and breastfeeding. She was instructed to undress from the waist down and was handed a thin blue sheet to cover up with. Ellie peeled her clothes off delicately and folded them neatly on a nearby chair. From there, she climbed up gingerly onto the exam table and placed the sheet over her naked lap. It didn’t do much to preserve her sense of modesty or dignity, but it was something.

Ellie waited and waited, and she couldn’t hear a peep coming from outside of the room. After 25 minutes had passed, the doctor finally entered with a harsh knock on the door. Ellie took a deep breath, ready to tell this dude just how annoyed she was. But when the door opened, Ellie found herself staring at a short woman with tightly curled hair and a kind, round face. Ellie’s facial expression morphed from irritation to surprise.

“Sorry I’m late,” the woman responded with an apologetic shrug and a tired sigh, “Another patient had an emergency this morning and we got off track. But I’m Dr. Candice Miller.”

Dr. Miller extended her hand and Ellie shook it meekly. “Nice to meet you,” Ellie mumbled.

“I’m told that you’ve never had a pap smear,” Dr. Miller announced seriously, sliding on her gloves and rattling a tray of scary looking equipment around.

“And looking at all of those very fun metal implements,” Ellie stated coldly, “I’m reminded of why I’ve put it off for so long.”

The doctor smiled sympathetically and slid over to sit in front of Ellie.

“No one looks forward to their well-woman exam, but I’ll be as gentle as possible and I’ll describe everything I’m doing. I’ll check your breasts first to make sure that there aren’t any unusual lumps. After that, I’ll do a quick pelvic exam, followed by the actual pap smear. That will involve using a speculum to open you up, and I’ll take a small sample of your cervix for testing. It might feel a little funny, but it shouldn’t really hurt. Then we’ll go over your health history and talk about birth control. Does that all sound good?”

“Like a carnival, really,” Ellie sneered.

Dr. Miller raised her eyebrows but didn’t respond to Ellie’s sour attitude. Working quickly and professionally, she slipped her hand under Ellie’s shirt and bra and felt quickly around Ellie’s small, perky breasts.

“No lumps,” she announced, withdrawing her gloved hand and moving back between Ellie’s legs. “Try to relax for this part though, you’re just going to feel my fingers” Dr. Miller said gently.

“Arghhh,” Ellie exclaimed as the doctor stuck a cold, gloved hand into her most intimate parts. The exam wasn’t exactly a slow serenade. Ellie squirmed uncomfortably as the doctor put pressure on her insides.

“No abnormalities,” the doctor continued, “Any pain?”

“I guess not,” mumbled Ellie bitterly, “But it didn’t feel great.”

“Almost done,” Dr. Miller reassured, grabbing the terrifying looking speculum. Ellie squeezed her eyes shut and tried to count slowly to ten while taking deep breaths. Before she had even reached 9, the doctor announced that they were all done.

“Oh,” Ellie sighed in relief, “That’s it?”

“Yes, other than a few questions,” the doctor smiled back. Her chipper attitude was grating on Ellie’s nerves for some reason. Dr. Miller slid over to her computer and began typing.

“Are you currently sexually active?” Dr. Miller inquired.

“I’m single. I’ve had sex before, but I don’t have a partner right now and I don’t just hook up with anything that moves. But I would have sex again with the right person.” Ellie blushed at how stupid she sounded. The doctor hadn’t reacted at all, though.

“How many sexual partners have you had?” Dr. Miller continued.

“Uh.. is that important?”

“Yes,” Dr. Miller sighed, beginning to show a bit of impatience.

“2 men and 4 women,” Ellie mumbled in embarrassment. Not even her mom knew that she had been gay since the end of college. Dr. Miller, however, showed no outward sign of homophobia.

“Have you always used protection,” she asked?

“With the two men I used a condom, yeah, but with women there isn’t really a need for protection.”

“That’s not true,” Dr. Miller scolded with a furrowed brow, “Lesbians can transfer STDs and other infections to one another, and there are ways–”

“Ok are you some expert on lesbians now?” Ellie interrupted impatiently. Dr. Miller turned and faced Ellie, her arms crossed impatiently.

“I have a medical degree that says I’m an expert in all sorts of sex, and you have an attitude that says you’re a little unsure about taking responsibility for your sexual health,” Dr. Miller snapped harshly, her light brown eyes boring into Ellie. “I don’t care who you have sex with, but I get paid to educate you on doing it safely. I hope that you can be mature enough to participate in the conversation.”

“So now I’m immature?” asked Ellie, her blood boiling, “Well at least I always show up on time to places.”

Dr. Miller stood up and walked over to Ellie. There was fire behind her previously calm eyes.

“I won’t tolerate being disrespected in my own practice,” Dr. Miller explained calmly but firmly. “If you were my daughter and had spent nearly 3 years avoiding medical appointments while having sex without any understanding of disease transfer, you wouldn’t be sitting for WEEKS.”

Ellie bit her lip nervously. She felt tears stinging her eyes. The difficulty of living away from her family, combined with her anxiety surrounding health issues and the vulnerability that today had caused, sent a sudden waive of emotion rushing over her. Ellie began to cry softly. She had taken her nervousness and embarrassment out on Dr. Miller and her staff for no reason.

“I’m s-so sorry,” Ellie gushed, “I didn’t want to come at all because I thought people would judge me for being a lesbian, and I was worried that maybe something was wrong after all. I took my fears out on you in the wrong way after you were so kind to me.”

Dr. Miller appeared sympathetic once more.

“There, there,” she hushed, handing Ellie a tissue. “Why don’t we make a follow-up appointment next week to go over the results of your tests, and we’ll discuss safe sex when you’re in a better place emotionally.”

“Ok,” Ellie agreed with a sniffle. “But you can do it if you want.”

“Do what?” Dr. Miller clarified.

“Spank me,” said Ellie flatly. “I know the threat was probably just you blowing off steam, but I deserve a spanking, really. My ex-girlfriend would have totally spanked me if I had been neglecting my health and mouthing off to people. Not that you’re my girlfriend. My mum used to spank me to. I’m used to it; I’ve always been hard-headed and bratty. It works for me.” Ellie blushed deeply in humiliation, but Dr. Miller looked calm and thoughtful.

“I shouldn’t have threatened you in the office,” she conceded, “It was unprofessional. How about you think about it this weekend, and if you still think you deserve a spanking, I’ll make a little house call and we’ll get it done.”

Ellie nodded her understanding and blew her nose. Dr. Miller handed her a business card and scrawled her cell phone number on the back.

“It was very nice to meet you, Ellie,” the doctor said with a warm smile, “Even if I was a few minutes late.”

“It’s no big deal,” Ellie mumbled with a shy smirk, “Thanks for the help. I’ll… uh.. text you this weekend, I guess.”

“I look forward to it. Now please get dressed and go enjoy your Friday.”

With that, Dr. Miller left the office and Ellie was left holding her business card and wondering what on EARTH she’d gotten herself into…

 

to be continued very soon 🙂

Down The Hatch Finale

I wake up dying for a glass of water. My head is pounding and I can barely pry my eyes open. Fortuitously, there is a glass of water that Melissa left near the bed. I gulp it down and listen carefully to see where she is in the house. Prying my tired body out of bed, I shyly tiptoe down the stairs. Melissa is hunched in front of her iPad at the kitchen counter.

“Well good morning,” she says with a smile when she notices my presence, “I was going to let you sleep until 9, but apparently you’re an over achiever even when hungover.” I giggle and blush because it feels like a compliment.

“I’m sorry about last ni-”

“Let’s not keep doing the apology thing. You’re soon going to find out exactly how I feel about your behavior last night, and you’ll be sorry for a couple of days.” She narrows her eyes forebodingly, and I know that I’m up for one heck of a spanking. “Now,” she says more cheerfully, “Let’s have breakfast and talk about the contract first. What do you like in the mornings? Eggs? I can make waffles… Cereal?”

“I usually do plain oatmeal,” I mumble, “Sometimes with almond butter. Scrambled egg whites with pepper, too.” Melissa bites her lip and considers my suggestion.

“Well. You’re not trying to lose weight, so egg whites aren’t necessarily appropriate. Let’s try two whole eggs, and a bowl of oatmeal, and we can do some fruit, too.” I nod. I feel safe with Melissa. I want to be cooperative.

“Thank you, ma’am,” I say simply. She smirks as she walks around me to the stove, lifting the Yale hoodie up and smacking my bare bottom as she walks by. I give a small yelp and grab my bottom cheeks.

“HA! That was a pat compared to what you’re getting later. Sit while you still can and have some coffee.” As I sip coffee and she cooks, she hands me her iPad where a copy of our rules have been reproduced. The email got buried in my inbox because of how busy I had been. I skim through it. It’s pretty understandable. Three meals per day, and preferably at least two snacks. I have to attend all of my classes and appointments, and if I am sick or injured, she has to know ASAP. No putting myself in danger in other ways (oops, that ship sailed last night), and no being disrespectful or lying. She confirms that I understand everything, and I confirm that it all makes sense.

I have a hard time getting my breakfast down because I’m nervous about the spanking and not used to people watching me eat. Melissa sits next to me making small talk to distract me and gently rubbing my back and hair. When I finish eating, I ask if I can brush my teeth.

“Go ahead,” she says, “And then put your nose in that corner over there,” she says, gesturing to the far side of the living room. Ugh. The corner? Like a child? I don’t show my distaste. I’m in enough trouble, so I scamper off to get washed up, and then shuffle into the dreaded corner.

“This is embarrassing,” I observe as I settle into my spot in the corner.

“Mhmm,” is her absent response from the living room, “You should focus on why we’re in this position. Corner time can help you calm down and focus, and it gives me time to plan exactly what I’m going to do if I haven’t decided yet. It helps you come to terms with who is in charge. Sure, it’s a bit infantilizing, but a little embarrassment is healthy.”

I don’t respond. I try to stay still. I feel small and uncomfortable, but it does make me feel protected to know that Melissa is watching me from a distance. After what feels like an eternity, she calls me over. I stand quietly in front of her knees.

“I think you know why you’re being punished. For one, you didn’t bother to read our rules, but I’m glad we got up to speed on those today. You had way too much to drink last night, to the point where you were sick and lost. You drank underage, you almost froze to death, and I’m certain that you didn’t eat enough dinner to justify nearly a quarter of what you drank.” I nod miserably. “Were you at a bar?” she asks coldly.

“I used a fake ID.” Her expression is one of pure irritation.

“Thank you for being honest. I’ll be taking that from you today. That is obviously illegal, and I don’t need to tell you how much trouble it could get you in.” I nod again. My words seem to be evading me, as I’m just a mess of guilt and nerves. Melissa grabs my wrist and pulls me over her knees. “You’re getting a hard spanking, and then you’re going to get a taste of both a hairbrush and a belt,” she says simply. “Then, I’ll sit you down at the table and you can write ‘I will not drink past my limits’ 100 times… by hand. If I’m satisfied at that point, we’ll be done. If not, you’ll find out how creative, and relentless, my discipline can be. Do you understand?”

“Yes, ma’am,” I gasp as she lands the first hard swat on my behind. Dang… Melissa means business today. Every smack is super painful. She peppers both cheeks with several swats, and she starts to get my inner thighs, too. It doesn’t take long for a painful heat to build all over my rear end. I feel secure with her hand around my waist and her strong thighs beneath me, but this lady’s hand is made of steel!

SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK. I try my best to stay in place and breathe deep. She keeps going and I imagine my bottom turning bright pink, and then a vibrant red. I hiss in pain as she gives a few more swats to each inner thigh. When I think I can’t take it any more, she pauses. “I’m going to give you 30 with the hairbrush,” she says coldly. The hand spanking is for drinking so much that you put yourself in danger, “The hairbrush is for using a fake ID and jeopardizing your dance and academic careers.” I tense my body as she picks up the brush. “Relax, please,” she says, taking a moment to rub my burning cheeks. I try my best to let go and relax over her knee again. She hikes my bottom up farther into the air and brings the brush down for the first time.

“OWEEEEE, AH, AGHHH, OH MY GOD,” I howl in pain as the brush makes contact with my already tender skin. “Please, oh my, that hurts, Melissa please don’t do it so hard.”

“That was just three,” she says unsympathetically. She continues to bring the brush down with purpose, resulting in a mean CRACK across my bottom. I howl and squirm, but there’s nowhere to go. I start crying. It stings and my bottom feels like it has to be bruised and swollen everywhere. She keeps going, helpfully letting me know when we’re halfway done. “We wouldn’t be here if you would have made better choices last night. It’s ok to have fun with your friends. I remember being in college. It’s NOT okay to take shot after shot when you know you’re already drunk. It’s not okay to wander alone outside, freezing cold and wasted. The fake ID is absolutely never going to happen again. This spanking is better than a criminal penalty, or worse, being unconscious or dead or having someone hurt you while you’re vulnerable.” Her words hurt because she’s absolutely right. The last 15 smacks cause more crying and quivering, but I’m able to relax my body and submit fully to the spanking. When she finishes, she puts the brush down and rubs my lower back, praising how well I did. “I hope we don’t have to repeat this,” she says softly, “I know that you can make better choices and still have fun.” With that, she pulls me up and brushes the tears off of my face. “We still have six with the belt, baby. I hope it will drive home the importance of self care, and standing up to your friends when they’re out of control. I won’t swing it too hard,” she says kindly, seeing the pain and horror on my face.

Melissa gently walks me over to a kitchen chair and bends me over. I stare at the belt with wide, fearful eyes. “You’re perfectly safe,” she says soothingly, rubbing my back while I calm down. She pulls her arm back and lands the belt against my upper thighs with an anti-climactic swish and a small crack. I know she’s making an effort not to hit me hard. It still stings, so I hiss a little bit and let out a cry, but my feet stay firmly planted. “Why don’t you count down from five for me?” she suggests. I oblige.

“FIVE!” I cry urgently when the belt hits the center of my behind. “FOUR. THREE.” She gets two new spots, leaving my entire ass stinging like it was lit on fire. “TWO!” I say, letting out a deep breath. “ONE!” She drops the belt and pulls me into her arms. She hugs me tightly and kisses the top of my head.

“Good job, baby,” she praises, “Let’s have some snuggles before you write your lines.” She leads me to the couch, holding my hand firmly. She sits down and pulls me onto her lap. I wince when my bottom makes contact with her yoga pants, but I’m content to be held while I cry softly and apologize.

“Thank you again for picking me up,” I sniffle, “And going through all of this trouble.”

“Shh, you might be a trouble maker, but taking care of you is no trouble at all,” says Melissa as she continues to rub my back. When I’ve calmed down, she helps me sit up again. “Do you want to talk about what you said last night… about being worried that you might be gay?”

I blush deeply. “Oh, that…” I stutter nervously, “Yeah, I guess I just feel like I don’t like men. I mean, I keep trying because I always thought I did, but I saw this cute girl from my running group last night and I guess maybe I think I could be bisexual or a lesbian.”

Melissa’s face is full of compassion and understanding. She doesn’t say much, but she rubs my legs and asks why I seem so upset about it. We talk it over gently, with her reassuring and supporting me as we work through my thoughts and fears and hopes. When we’re both satisfied, she gently guides me to the dining room table to write my lines. I ask for a pillow, but my request is denied with a sympathetic kiss to the side of my head. Melissa does assorted chores while I write my lines, hand and bottom both burning. I know I’ve found someone that will hold me accountable… painfully… but I can’t be resentful when she also takes care of me and supports me so well.

I quickly text my friends and room mate to let them know I’m ok. It’s 10:30 and they just woke up, and I already have a fried behind! The injustice… As I finish up my lines, I look up at Melissa. She is really pretty. Stop it, I chastise myself, she’s a doctor and a mom and way older than you and probably isn’t attracted to you. Shaking the thought out of my head, I politely turn in my sheet of lines and give her one last hug.

“I can grab a cab so that you’re not inconvenienced,” I offer.

“I have to pick my son up from his sleepover at 11 anyway,” she says, “And please. Stop acting like an inconvenience or you’ll get another spanking.”

“Yes, ma’am! My butt is killing me. In that case, thanks for the ride!”

What. A. Day.

Down The Hatch Part II

When Melissa arrives to pick me up, she looks far more concerned than angry. I let out a huge sigh of relief, and timidly peel myself off of the cold concrete and try to make my way to the passenger’s side of her Audi without making eye contact. The second her wheels stop, however, she is out of the car and standing inches from my face. She already has her hands on me, making sure I’m ok and trying to assess just how drunk I am.

“Are you ok?” she asks urgently, noticing that I’m wobbly but still upright and not vomiting.

“Yessss, I’m so sorry I just so much vodka and shots and it got bad and I got nauseated but then I wanted pizza and lost so I called you because no cab money,” I blurted. The words were tumbling out of my numb lips in an incoherent blur. Melissa’s stare had become stone cold and I was starting to get anxious.

“Get into the car,” she demanded, “you have to be freezing.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I reply solemnly, slithering into the car and slouching down to make myself small. I want to explain myself, but my brain is moving faster than my mouth, so I don’t want to risk slurring my speech again and making her more angry. Melissa’s mouth is set in a firm, straight line and her narrowed eyes are looking straight ahead at the road. Shit, she’s really mad. “I’m sorry about this,” I try again, “If you take me home I’ll have water and a bagel and never take shots again in my entire life.” Melissa just sighed in annoyance.

“You’re not going home. You’re coming to my house so that I can keep an eye on you. You’re absolutely trashed. That’s concerning for many reasons, one of which is the fact that you’re underage. Your skin has been exposed to the cold air for God knows how long, and your legs are bright red. You need some water, and you need to get warm, and with any luck I won’t have to spend the entire night preventing you from choking on your own vomit.” Her voice is steely but I can tell from her concerned expression that she was worried about me. It’s endearing. And suddenly the crushing weight of making her worry makes me feel absolutely terrible. I lean my head against the window and squeeze my eyes shut so that I don’t cry. I mumble how sorry I am quietly until we pull up into her driveway. “Just hush for a minute, please,” she says softly as she helps unbuckle me and steer me to the front door. “Everything will be ok,” she whispers, placing her hand on my back as she unlocks the door.

Once we get into the warm house, my frigid body relaxes a bit. She goes to grab me a glass of water, and I feel like my drunk brain is experiencing deja vu. It’s just like the last time I was here, but darker outside and I’m way more intoxicated. I take off my converse and stand awkwardly by the door until she summons me into the kitchen. She has a peanut butter sandwich on a plate next to a glass of cold water. “Eat, drink,” she commands. I sit down and oblige. I mostly eat in silence, but at one point I can’t resist attempting another apology.

“I’m so sorry about this,” I say, “I really didn’t mean to bother you so late and inconvenience you and I know you’re probably really mad about a lot of things, not the least of which is the contract that I haven’t read, so I probably broke 98493389 rules. I’ve just been working so hard with the psychologist and trying to eat three solid meals and dance has been super rough with auditions for the December performance and on top of all of that I’m starting to worry that maybe I’m gay.” All of this comes rushing out, and gets nothing but a sigh and an eyebrow raise from Melissa.

“It’s late and you are drunk, she says carefully. We can chat in the morning, ok? I care very much about your thoughts, but I also care about getting you some rest. I’m going to lay you down in the guest bedroom,” she explains. “I think maybe you should take a shower first to warm up. I’m going to stand by the door just in case.” I nod submissively. It’s a little awkward to have her hovering around while I shower, but I know I gave up my right to make demands when I drunk dialed her on Halloween night.

“I didn’t ruin your Halloween, did I?” I whine pathetically as she starts the shower and assembles a couple of towels.

“My son is too old for Halloween,” she says with a small smile, “but it looks like you had enough fun for everyone.” Her tone is mostly dry, but I can tell she’s gone from livid to mildly annoyed and somewhat amused. This is progress, I think to myself. Melissa stands in the doorway as I undress. I glance at her shyly, as if to ask if she plans to shut the door and give me privacy, but she mouths an impatient “let’s go” so I strip the spandex off and hop into the shower as quickly as I can. Once behind the curtain, I take a deep breath and let the hot water soothe my previously icy skin. It feels amazing, but I’m also starting to get a little sleepy, so I wash the scent of the bar off of me as quickly as possible and turn the faucet off. I can sense Melissa standing in the door frame.

“You don’t have to be shy,” she teases, “I’ve seen your bottom plenty of times, and it’s not like your costume was covering much anyway.” Throwing a bratty glare her way as I step out of the shower naked, I whip the towel around my shoulders and wait patiently for my next instructions. She gestures to the sink where there’s already a spare toothbrush laid out for me. I nod in embarrassment and brush my teeth while she continues to observe me. I hope that my whole lesbian comment didn’t creep her out. Luckily, she seems unfazed by pretty much everything.

I’ve never seen Melissa in casual clothes before. Even last time I was at her house she was still in a suit. She looks really pretty and snuggly with her hair un-done and her oversized Yale sweater on. I wonder briefly if she went to school there, but it’s best not to change the topic when she’s in “you’re in trouble” mode. When I finish brushing my teeth, Melissa walks me back to the guest room.

“Oh… pajamas. Ok. Here.” She takes off her large Yale sweater and hands it to me. She’s wearing a black tank top under it. I smile and throw it on over my naked body. It almost covers my lower half entirely. I look at her expectantly, but she just smiles. “When you wake up,” she says, “you’re not going to need pants on, so I figured we’d make your discipline easier tomorrow.”

“But your son…” I say uncomfortably.

“Is at a friend’s house for a sleepover.”

“Your husband?” I ask quizzically.

“I never said I had a husband. You’re fine. You need to stop arguing and go to bed, unless you want to get half of your spanking tonight.”

I start to shake my head, but then I shrug. “I don’t know,” I slur, “I just feel soo guilty but I’m also tired.  I shouldn’t have had so much to drink. And I gave you my life story and you probably think I’m so annoying.”

“I think you’re drunk and need sleep,” she insists again. She rubs my head and then leans over and kisses my temple. “You are SO difficult sometimes,” she smiles, “get some sleep. I’ll check on you in a little bit.”

I think about protesting, but the alcohol and emotions are wearing me out. Melissa is still sitting next to me on the bed. I tentatively reach a hand out and place it in hers. She jerks in surprise a little bit, but then gently rubs my hand with her thumb as I drift off to sleep, nice and warm, but with my bottom cheeks tingling in anticipation of tomorrow’s punishment.

HEHE… TO BE CONTINUED ONE MORE TIME!

[Open to suggestions about what Melissa should do to Shae tomorrow]

A Sobering Experience

Let’s just say that ballerinas don’t typically know how to “cut loose.” Most of my friends in high school spent most of their free time in the studio, and no one gave a second thought to going to a party. Needless to say, college was eye opening for me. I was dazzled by the way that crowds thumped to blaring rap and electronica, the way that drinks were poured generously among strangers, and the sexually charged energy and desperation of sleepless and overworked college students ready to let loose. I loved the way that alcohol made my skin prickle, and the warm, giggly feeling that filled my body when I’d had just enough.

Everyone in college drinks, age aside, so I never really worried about getting caught. Of course, I’m pretty risk averse, but I had only heard of a couple people getting the dreaded “MIP” on campus, so it wasn’t a justified fear. One night, though, I was invited to an off-campus party hosted by some guys from my university’s music department. They lived in a fairly small house, and it was absolutely packed wall-to-wall with theater, dance, and music, and art students. I’d had a rough week with dance and my other academic courses, so I was definitely ready to drink the night away. Three cups of spiked punch later, I was flirting with a hot dark-haired art student, playfully asking if I could borrow his beanie. Truth be told, I was still a virgin and was increasingly worried that I wasn’t attracted to men at all. But when I was just drunk enough, I could almost convince myself that I wanted to…

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

I was interrupted from my flirting when I heard the unmistakable cry of, “Police! Open up!” The eyes of one of the hosts went wide, and suddenly the previously buzzing room fell into silence. I could still feel the music pumping downstairs, but upstairs the boys were frantically turning off lights and hiding jugs of punch. As the officers knocked, a full-blown party tried to disappear on itself. The scene struck me as a little silly. I mean, there were already two officers at the door and they had now been waiting for an uncomfortably long time. The knocking was getting louder still, and I wondered when the music bros would lose their front door by having it kicked in. Not a pretty thought in January.

“Go into the bedroom!” one of the music students shouted, clearly agitated, “turn the lights off and be quiet.” Growing nervous, I followed along. They shoved the sweaty male guests and now-sniffling females into bedrooms. I curled up on the hardwood floor and hugged my knees into my chest. Beanie dude had disappeared. A girl from the theater department was sitting next to me and she looked like she was about to cry. Predictably, it only took a few minutes for one of the stern looking female officers to appear at the bedroom window. Even though it was January, the window was open because it was so damn hot in the packed house. The officer’s face was narrowed into a threatening stare, and her flashlight was pointed directly at us.

“They’re hiding in the bedroom!” she called to the other officer, “come out right now or you’re all getting MIPs” she shouted. Fck. I couldn’t get an MIP. The dance program would be furious. My parents would be furious. Hands shaking, I tried to think fast. The boys were intent on leaving the door locked. They were frantically milling about the living room mumbling about their rights and which of them should call their lawyer parent. Slowly, I arose and walked toward the front door. They had locked it and put a chair in front of it. Idiots.

“I’m going home,” I announced, and I walked out into the night before they could stop me. I left the door open and slowly approached the two angry-looking female officers. I was suddenly very skeptical about my plan, mostly because I didn’t have one. “I opened the door!” I squeaked, gesturing to the obviously opening door and then waiting for one of them to speak. The officer who had been at the window spoke first.

“What is this? Who is hosting this party?” she demanded to know. I didn’t know if I should sell the music boys down the river, so I prevaricated.

“I’m sorry, ma’am,” I said, “I don’t actually know because the thing is, I was invited by a friend of a friend.” She stared back in silence. I was telling the truth, technically ish. I knew the names of the boys who rented the house, but I didn’t know them personally, and had been invited by a mutual friend.

“Do you have an ID?” she asked. My heart dropped. I didn’t want to get punished with an MIP just because I opened the door.

“No,” I lied. I had my student ID, but I wasn’t about to fork it over just like that.

“You don’t have ANY type of ID on you?” she snapped incredulously, “what if something happened to you?”

“I have my dorm key,” I offered strategically, “that has my picture on it. I just don’t bring a wallet with a formal ID, so to speak, because I don’t want it to get stolen or whatever.” That part was true. Actually, I didn’t know if I had an ID. I was drunk, and quite frankly, I was getting really cold since I had taken a cab and not bothered to bring a coat. The other officer seemed to feel bad for me.

“Let’s let her go home,” she suggested, approaching the house to deal with the real issue. There were already a few students trying to sneak out windows or the front door, so the nice officer turned their attention away from me.

“Fine. Go home. Get out of here,” the less-nice officer nodded curtly. I nodded with tears in my eyes and turned to scuttle away. “Wait!” she said, and my heartbeat picked back up. “You don’t have a coat or proper ID. How are you going to get back to your dorm?”

“I don’t know, Ma’am.”

“Can you please wait? You’re not in trouble. I’ll drive you home once we address the situation here.” She seemed calm and sincere enough, so I nodded. It was starting to snow again, and honestly, I didn’t know my way home anyway. We were deep in a residential neighborhood, and it would take nearly an hour to get a cab at this point. After 30 minutes or so, the officers emerged from the house and my new friend gestured to her car. I followed her, pausing slightly when I got to the front doors.

“I’ve never, you know, uh, been in a cop car before,”  I said lamely, “should I sit in front?”

“Unless you’d rather sit in the back with cuffs on.” She hopped into the driver’s seat and buckled up. I slipped in and sat silently beside her, my hands in my lap and my eyes wide.

“I’m really sorry,” I said, “about them locking the door. That was lame. Thanks for, you know, all you do and thanks for the ride and stuff and I’m sorry if you’re mad at me.” My pitiful word vomit seemed to soften her.

“It’s ok, kid,” she said finally, “Just be careful when you go to parties. You had no idea whose house you were at. You don’t have an ID. I’ve seen a lot of bad things happen to kids when alcohol is involved, and I can say that getting an MIP is the least of your concerns.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I agreed demurely.

“If you were my daughter,” she emphasized, “I would be livid about that behavior. I would spank the living daylights out of my daughter, even if she was in college.” I gulped.

“My parents never spanked me,” I offered, “When they’re disappointed, I just get the silent treatment for a while. That’s why I didn’t want to get in trouble tonight. It’s awful when they’re upset with me.” I looked down at my hands. “But if it makes you feel better, like technically just to clarify, I did sort of know whose house it was, and I had my student ID.” I held my breath after letting my confession out.

“I’m sorry to hear about your parents,” the officer said, “It can really hurt to not be forgiven. I believe in dishing out a stern spanking, but then accepting the apology and moving forward with a clean slate. I think it allows everyone to feel better moving forward. But given the fact that you were drinking underage AND you lied, let’s just say that your punishment would leave no doubt about how much trouble you were in.” We were already pulling up near my dorm, so the officer slowed the car down and threw it into park. She placed her hand on my arm and said gently, “You know, you’re really lucky that you didn’t get in trouble or get hurt tonight.” I nodded solemnly. “You seem like you feel pretty guilty and crappy,” she pointed out, “so if you want, I can give you the same type of spanking that I’d give my own daughter, and then you can wake up tomorrow and start fresh.” My eyes went wide at the proposition. I was incredibly nervous, but I also thought about how nice it would feel to have someone actually care enough to mete out discipline. Ever since college, I felt like I didn’t have a lot of direction. My dance professors were tough but not necessarily personable, and my parents barely had time to talk to me.

“Ok,” I said slowly, “I’ll let you spank me.” My hands were shaking a little bit, but I knew that I needed something to make the guilt go away. The officer moved the car to a dark, empty parking lot across from the dorm and relocated to the back seat. I followed compliantly and waited for instructions.

“Ok honey,” she said softly, “I’m going to lay you across my knees and pull your skirt up, ok?” I nodded shyly and let her grab my hand and lead me across her lap. As promised, she pushed my tight black mini skirt up to reveal my bare bottom. My black thong provided no protection, but at least it left me with a little modesty. The officer rubbed my cheeks with her hand for a moment. “I never got your name,” she pointed out.

“Shae,” I answered.

“Ok, Shae. I’m going to give you, say, ten swats for each offense. Ten for drinking underage, ten for not bringing a real ID, ten for barely knowing whose party it was, and ten each for lying about the ID and who owned the house. Oh, and ten for skimping on a jacket. That’s only sixty, ok? That should be a good first spanking.”

“Well… ok… but do I get a reward for being the person to open the door? And I feel like that’s double dipping, punishing me for lying about the ID but also for the ID, right?” I asked hopefully.

“You don’t get an award for doing the right thing,” she said carefully, “but you can know that I’m proud of you, ok? And as for the lying, that’s intolerable. You still didn’t have proper ID and I’m not convinced that you were aware of your surroundings. So no, not double dipping.”

“Ok, Ma’am.”

With that, the officer got to work on my bottom. It may have only been 60 swats, but she had significant arm strength and made them count. Plus, my poor bottom was cold and sensitive from the winter air! The first ten made me hiss and wiggle in pain, the next ten had me audibly crying out. “I’ll add on if you don’t stop wiggling,” the officer said flatly. I took a deep breath and pleaded with my legs and hips to stop thrashing about. She applied ten swats in a row to my sensitive right sit-spot, then moved on to the left. The final twenty swats were peppered along my lower bottom and upper thighs. When the officer finished, I let out a sigh of relief. I was sniffling a little, so she helped me sit up and pulled me into a hug. “Good girl,” she praised, “you took that well.”

“I won’t let this all happen again,” I promised solemnly.

“Good. I’ll be looking for your name at the station, and you won’t like what a repeat offense punishment feels like,” she said with a smile and a wink, “Now go inside, have a large glass of water, and get some sleep.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” I said dutifully, pulling away from her hug and wiping off the last of my tears. Before I exited the vehicle, I turned around and asked for her name.

“Officer Black,” she said, pointing to her badge, “which is the color your bottom might be if you don’t take it inside in the next five seconds.” With a mock salute, I dashed out of the vehicle and into my dorm. By the time I had poured myself a cup of water, I realized that I wasn’t feeling buzzed in the slightest anymore. Man, I thought, nothing like a bare bottom spanking to sober you right up! 

Meeting Dr. Doom

As I sit in the waiting room at the tiny University physician’s office, I feel like a walking stereotype. I’m a dance major at a large liberal arts school, and I recently had to confide in one of my instructors about my eating disorder. I’m irritated with myself but I don’t quite know why. Eating disorders persist despite the victims intelligence, confidence, happiness, and desire to be healthy. I keep repeating that it’s not my fault; I’m not making fellow dancers “look bad,” and I’m not a burden for needing to seek help.

My eating disorder had started over a year ago, when I realized that dance in college was a whole ‘nother ball game, so to speak. No matter what I told myself about how talented I was, I couldn’t help but think that I would be as talented as my intimidating classmates if I could just be more thin. More beautiful. More graceful. Lean. What started as a promise to eat healthy spiraled into near-starvation, compulsive exercise, and eventually vomiting. After coming back from a summer dance intensive feeling ill and looking like a string bean, I was forced to have “the talk” with one of my favorite professors. She said that I would have to see one of the university’s physicians to get a letter of approval for my participation that semester. I whined, but there was nothing I could say to change her mind. She was kind but firm about the requirement. “It’ll be fine,” she had promised with a reassuring smile, “Dr. (let’s call her Doom) is fantastic.”

So, there I sat in the doctor’s waiting room, at 9am sharp on a Monday, pretending to study from my Italian textbook while listening to my heart thud in my chest. When my name was called, I shuffled down the narrow hallway into a small exam room. My backpack and rain coat were drowning my small frame, and I kept my eyes down. My palms were sweaty and my heart was thumping ever faster, but I promised myself that the appointment would only take 20 minutes. I’d promise that I was getting better- eating more- and she would let me go. The doctor hadn’t quite greeted me yet. She was sizing me up while applying an inhuman amount of hand sanitizer to both hands. The doctor was tall, with sharp facial features and a cold, demanding stare. I felt about two inches tall when I looked up at her from the exam table. I know that she works for the university’s athletic department. She’s probably used to fixing the broken bones of soccer stars and managing the illnesses of football players four times her size. I imagine that she’d rather be doing anything but talking to little, silly me. Finally, she breaks the awkward silence.

“So… your professor sent you here for an eating disorder?”

I choose not to answer because what she really did was make a statement, and I’m not going to reward the obvious with an answer. Seemingly annoyed by my blank stare, she says, with zero emotion or tenderness, “So what is it that you do? I mean, are you not eating? Are you vomiting?”

My face scrunches up in annoyance. No way in H-E-doublehockeysticks am I going to let this judgmental jerk get an answer out of me.

“Uhm. Yeah I guess.” I’m purposely vague and my nervousness has been replaced with straight irritation. I can feel my eyes narrowing involuntarily, as if my inner defensive brat can’t help but punish the rude question with an evil stare.

The doctor sighs and tells me that she needs to weigh me. I silently acquiesce. She has me sit back on the exam table, and explains in a business-like fashion that she has to check my throat for signs of trauma. We do the tongue depressor thing, she pokes around my throat with her cold fingers, and she stabs at my abdomen to see if anything hurts. I keep my eyes on the ceiling, feigning disinterest in this whole process. On the inside, I’m simmering with embarrassment. She finally backs up again, and returns to her favorite position: arms crossed and face set in a blank, intimidating stare.

“Physically, you look okay right now,” she says slowly, “but I have to warn you that with the vomiting and–”

“I’m not stupid!” I spit, interrupting her impending lecture, “I know that it’s bad for me. I’m working on it.” She looks a little irritated at the interruption, but she shifts tactics smoothly.

“Look. If you want to exercise the way that your schedule demands, it’s really not sustainable for you to not eat.” She continues her lecture, but all I can hear is her patronizing tone and all that I can really focus on is her un-amused stare. I have never felt so ridiculous before.

“FINE!” I interrupt for a second time, “I know I’m an idiot, ok? I know I have to eat. I didn’t need to come to the doctor because there’s nothing really wrong with me. My professor made me schedule this appointment, and I know you don’t want to talk to some dumb skinny dancer about how foolish she’s being. As long as I’m good to return to dance class, I don’t need anything else. I’m sure you have plenty of better things to do with your time and I’m sorry I had to come annoy you about my ineptitude. I’m obviously having a hard time, and you’re kind of being a jerk. You’re talking to me like… like… I’m the scum of the earth or something. So I can just go or whatever. If I’m fine to dance and all.” When I finish my tirade, it dawns on me that perhaps I didn’t need to speak quite so loudly. Dr. Doom’s eyebrows are raised, but she doesn’t look particularly surprised, nor does she necessarily look angry. The silence in the room is deafening.

“Ok,” says Dr. Doom, still eerily calm, “why don’t you stand on the ground and turn around for me?” I look back at her with wide eyes. “Stand up,” she repeats, “and turn around.” I don’t know what else to do at this point, so I stand up and turn around slowly. “Put your hands on the exam table,” she instructs calmly. I do. “I’m going to pull your pants down, and I’m going to spank you,” she says matter-of-factly. “Eating disorders are about control,” she explains, “and in my exam room, I’m in control. I’m sorry that you didn’t get the sympathy that you were hoping for, but I’m trying to do my job. I’m trying to make sure that you’re healthy and capable of performing your usual activities. So now, you are going to stay still and stay silent, and I am going to spank you for how incredibly rude you’ve been.” It is a very good thing that I’m already bent over, because I feel extremely lightheaded. Can doctors spank people?!?! I’m too humiliated to speak, so I wait to see if she is going to say anything. “I need your consent,” she finally says, “and this isn’t medical treatment, it’s a personal offer to give you something that you obviously need.” Her voice is still amazingly businesslike, a little exasperated perhaps. I’m not sure what options I have at this point.

“Oh. Ok. Ye- I mean, sure.” My voice is suddenly quiet and whiny, in stark contrast to my bold proclamations less than two minutes ago. Having gotten the go-ahead from yours truly, Dr. Doom takes a step closer to me. With one hand on the exam table next to me, she raises her right hand and brings it down with an alarmingly painful crack. “AH, OW!” I exclaim automatically.

“You will get precisely one reminder to be quiet,” she says in a low voice, pinching my inner thigh painfully for emphasis.

“Ok, sorry!” I whisper urgently, letting my breath out slowly as she raises her hand again. SMACK! Geez, it’s painful when she hits me. I was never spanked as a child, but good Lord I didn’t think it would hurt so darn much. SMACK. SMACK. SMACK. No one else was in the waiting room, but I wonder if the receptionist can hear. SMACK SMACK SMACK. My embarrassment is driven from my mind temporarily as I try to adjust to the pain. Dr. Doom keeps spanking both cheeks- and the tops of my thighs- while I will wiggle and breathe heavily. She moves her second hand to my lower back as she continues to smack my bare bottom. As painful as the spanking is, I feel oddly serene under her control. Like the only thing that I have to focus on is submitting to her authority, and my previously complicated emotions have simplified. SMACK SMACK SMACK.

“Do you know why you’re being spanked?” she asks, not stopping the onslaught of smacks.

“I was rude to you and it was disrespectful,” I squeak out.

“Good girl. I’m spanking you because you were rude, and also because you need to learn a lesson about control. Learning to let go is going to help you. So *SMACK SMACK* will eating.” Her swats have slowed down since I have stopped wiggling. The pain and embarrassment and stress of the whole morning get to me and I start to cry. She delivers a few more swats to the back of each of my thighs.

“I’m sorry,” I mumble into the silence.

“What’s that?” she asks, her voice finally the softest it has been all morning.

“I’m sorry,” I repeat. “Actually, I was apologizing for crying because you don’t seem like the type of person who would appreciate a crybaby, but while I’m at it, I’m also sorry for… you know… snapping at you and stuff. I know you were just doing your job. I shouldn’t have taken my nervousness out on you. I’m just embarrassed and frustrated and scared, ya know…” I start to cry harder after my admission rushes out of my mouth, and she rubs my back gently.

“It’s ok,” she finally whispers, “everything is fine. I sometimes forget to be mindful of sensitive topics. I’m a pretty straightforward person.”

“No… really?” I ask with a sarcastic smile. She smiles for the first time all morning and laughs.

“Stand up,” she says kindly, helping me up into standing position. I feel incredibly awkward standing in front of her with my leggings pulled halfway down, but I look up at her and wait for more instructions rather than adjusting them. “I’m not a psychologist,” she says carefully, “and you need to see the university psychologist. But I do know when a brat needs a spanking, and you were begging for one this morning.”

“Y-yes, Ma’am. Uh… thank you?” I mumble awkwardly, looking between Dr. Doom and the ground.

“Pull your pants up,” she says with a small smile. “I’m going to write a letter to your dance teacher that you’re ok to participate for now, but I’m expecting you to see the psychologist… and the dietitian.”

“Yes, Ma’am, I will,” I nod emphatically.

“And why don’t I give you my business card in case you have any questions,” she offers kindly. “You’re won’t be bothering me,” she emphasizes, briefly putting her hand under my chin. I nod gratefully and she hands me a tissue.

“Do you, like, want a hug or something?” I ask timidly as she moves to open the door and release me back into the world. She laughs and opens her arms slightly, so I take that as a yes. I quickly wrap my arms around her tall frame, pressing my cheek against her chest. She pats me gently on the back and holds me until I am ready to pull away.

“Be good. Take care of yourself,” she says as she walks me back to the reception area.

“Ok. Thank you,” I say with sincerity. And with that, I head back out into the bright September sunshine. My bottom is still stinging, but I hold onto her business card and smile. That was a strange appointment, I think to myself, but I might actually be back to see Dr. Doom. Maybe her doom was just what I needed to get better.